Tuesday, December 14, 2010

I Think I Can, I Think I Can

OK....I've started...and then deleted this post at least three times now.

Each time I come across sounding like a whiny baby. And no one wants to read that!! :-)

It's dark outside all the time hoo.

I'm terrified of falling on the ice....waaaaa.

I have no motivation......blah, blah, blah.

I haven't run for a week. A WEEK!!! That's only happened twice since I started running in May. Once for a backpacking trip to Montana, and once when I fell into a pothole and buggered up my knee (which just so happens to be the week before said backpacking trip). :-)

This funk of mine is even starting to annoy ME...and it's MY funk for crying out loud!!!


I've been reading quite a few blogs these last couple of weeks. People are starting to get their heads on straight for 2011. Goals are being made. Decisions are being made. Plans are being, know...made.

I'm not a fan of the R word.....resolutions.


If you want to start working out, what better time to start then now! Why put it off? If it's that important, why wait?

I started Weight Watchers last year, right at the first of the year. It wasn't because I'd decided losing weight was my resolution, it was because a friend of mine had. She was ready to make a change, but needed a little push in the right direction. She's a every sense of the word. To do lists, plans, resolutions.....those are the things that get her excited.

So why not push her in the right direction...and go along for the ride?

And now....25 or so pounds later...I'm glad I did.

I lost weight, week after week, merely by changing my food habits. Then in May, I started running. The weight kept coming off...but that was when I really noticed my body changing. Things started firming up....jiggly bits started disappearing.

Since October, my running and my food choices have taken a turn for the worse....and so has that d*mn scale.

I ran my half marathon....and then the spark died. I completed the goal....and was left in limbo. Since then, I've read that making a new plan BEFORE the old one is gone is highly recommended. Lesson learned there.

I got into my single digit size jeans....and then the spark died. I completed that goal as well.

I'd done two things I set out to do....but it still felt as though the end of this journey hadn't come. You see....I met my goals....but not my ultimate ones!

Ben, from Ben Does Life, explains what I mean using marathon time goals as an example.

A: The public goal – as the name implies, this is the goal the runner tells people when asked what his goal is. Barring a complete meltdown, this goal is easily attainable and would even be a slight disappointment to the runner.
B: The actual goal – Usually about 5-10 minutes faster than the public goal. The runner will tell close friends and family about this goal. It’s also the time that the runner feels comfortable striving for and thinks there is a reasonable chance of hitting.
C: The secret dream goal – The runner doesn’t tell anyone this goal, because he knows that the stars would have to align and everything would have to fall perfectly in place for the secret dream goal to happen, and if a runner knows nothing else, he knows that during 26.2 miles, nothing ever falls perfectly in place.

My goals for weight loss really aren't centered on the scale. Yes, I use it as a way to measure success week after week. But that's only because the true measure of success (clothes sizes) don't go down every week. I need something to keep me going...and that's where the scale comes in.

My public goal: "I don't care how much I weigh, or what size I am, I just want to be happy and healthy." and "I want to be a runner. I want to get up in the morning and run a couple of miles, daily. I read books where the main character gets up in the am and 'goes for a run'...I want to be that person." (goals achieved)

My actual goal: "Happiness and good health is great...but feeling good about the way I look would be sweet! I don't care what I weigh, but I'd like to be in single digit size jeans. " and "I want to run a half marathon. Marathons are great and all, but a half is nothing to be ashamed of. I want to get that finisher medal, and feel the emotion of accomplishing something I had to train for. " (goals achieved)

My secret dream goal:
"8 is great...but bring on the 6!!! My body looked good as a 6, once upon a time. Heck, it looked great as a 4...but let's be realistic...I'm not 20 anymore. I want to wear a swimsuit again. I'd love to be able to run in only a sports bra in the summer when it's hotter than h*ll. Fitted tshirts....bring 'em on!!!" and "Half marathon? Pa-shaw! Yeah, yeah, yeah...I know what I said about half marathons being a great goal and all.....but since when have I done something without throwing myself into it fully? I can't stop half way there." (goals in progress)

I've accomplished so many things this year, things I never in a million years thought I'd ever do.

I run.
I enjoy running.
I get up really friggin' early to run.
I still enjoy running.
I've lost weight.
I've run a half marathon.
I want to run more of them.
I go to spin classes.
I enjoy spin classes.
I find myself looking forward to summer.
I don't mind the summer heat so much anymore.
I'm healthier than I've been in a long time.
I'm happy.

2010, you've been great! More than I ever expected.

2011, bring it on!!!!!!


Anonymous said...

OMG, your public goal = exactly mine. I have read a lot of books and when the main character has to complete their daily run, I think, I want that to be me. I want to run for health. I just want to get up and run and feel great about my effort! Publicly. :)

Nej said...

It's funny, when I read those books....most people would skip over or skim the part where the main character goes for her run. It's the part I really focus on. I want the author to write more about it. :-) :-)

BaldJohnnyRhythm said...

Way to achieve the public goal of not sounding like a whiny baby, too!

I think setting up new goals before achieving the originals is, while probably smart, tough to do because we can worry privately (the inside voice) that there's the possibility that we might not accomplish what we wanted with the 1st one. I don't know about you, but disappointing myself is the worst.

Keep up the positive attitude & good work. Someone wise once told me the way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. I've found the metaphor appropriate for all kinds of hurdles life (or my own overthinking) can place in front of me. I bet you'll make your 2011 just as gratifying as 2010, if not more so.

Nej said...

@ BJR - That darn inside voice.....disappointing yourself is the worst!!! After setting up my first goal to run the half, and accomplishing it, I'm a little less gun shy about making another goal.

Now, just wait for when I fall short (because, statistically speaking, it's bound to happen eventually, right?)....I can't promise I'll be able to keep the whiny baby least for a small visit. (hehehe)

Heidi said...

I love the different levels of goals ... so true.

So you're going for the full eh? I really want to do one this coming year. I'm pretty confident right now that I can .. it's really just a matter of finances. I'm half-arsed training for one right now with a friend, but it's not really the type of training I will do when I actually go out to race a full.

No love for the treadmill? This time of year is tough, especially if you have ice to deal with. I'm lcuky that for me it's mostly just darkness and a ton of rain. I run with a partner so feel pretty safe with the darkness. Snow & Ice sidelines me though and I have to get reaquainted wit the dreadmill when that happens.

Nej said...

@ Heidi - yeah, I think I'm going to take a stab at the full this year. The half kept me really motivated this past year...and I'm going to do more halves in 2011....but I really want to try to full.

I have no doubts that you'll be able to do a full, if you put your mind to it. You're a running fool right now! Very motivating for me!!!! :-)

Anna P said...

Great accomplishments! I would love to be able to run in just a sports bra, but even though I am down to a size 5 jeans, having 5 babies did quite the opposite of 'good things' for my mid-section =)

Detroit Runner said...

Nej - your story sounds just like mine. I have not lost the motivation yet but keep it up, you can do it. I signed up for my first marathon for May and that will motivate anyone. I freakin about it though. The half is doable that you don't kill your body. You really need to push yourself on the marathon and I'm scared of that. I'm also a scale watcher. I look at it everyday and I know you shouldn't but it helps keep me in check. I agree with you that it's nice wearing a smaller size. I have a 31 waist. I haven't had that since high school and I'm NOT going to lose it! Good luck!

Faith Ann said...

Love the goals!!

Good luck getting your motivation back. Thinking about your goals again should really help.

I find this month is rough. There are just so many other things I'd rather be doing! It's dark, cold and miserable outside... but very cosy to sit by the tree and eat Christmas cookies lol. I'm trying to visit my treadmill and exercise bike on a regular basis though.

Nej said...

@ Detroit - thanks! :-)

I used to be a scale watcher (daily)...but any more I'm pretty much avoiding it. (hehehehe)

Good luck on the marathon in'll rock it I'm sure!!!

@ Faith Ann - I'm hoping that's it. I'll blame it on December. Once the holidays are over, I'll be antsy and be more than motivated to start moving more again. Hubby is working on our treadmill tonight....fingers crossed that he gets it going for me. Treadmills are bad enough, but I think I could handle it more if it were at home....were I can watch whatever I want on TV, or listen to whatever music I'm feelin' that morning. :-) :-)

Nej said...

@ Anna - size 5....I'm drooling at the idea. :-) :-)

Fran said...

Lace up those shoes girl, everything in your posts screams how much you love running. You will enjoy your "first" run again.

As for the rest: you've had a great year. I can only hope 2011 will be as good for me as 2010 has been for you.