I Think I Can, I Think I Can

OK....I've started...and then deleted this post at least three times now.

Each time I come across sounding like a whiny baby. And no one wants to read that!! :-)

It's dark outside all the time now....boo hoo.

I'm terrified of falling on the ice....waaaaa.

I have no motivation......blah, blah, blah.

I haven't run for a week. A WEEK!!! That's only happened twice since I started running in May. Once for a backpacking trip to Montana, and once when I fell into a pothole and buggered up my knee (which just so happens to be the week before said backpacking trip). :-)

This funk of mine is even starting to annoy ME...and it's MY funk for crying out loud!!!

(snicker)

I've been reading quite a few blogs these last couple of weeks. People are starting to get their heads on straight for 2011. Goals are being made. Decisions are being made. Plans are being, well...you know...made.

I'm not a fan of the R word.....resolutions.

(argh)

If you want to start working out, what better time to start then now! Why put it off? If it's that important, why wait?

I started Weight Watchers last year, right at the first of the year. It wasn't because I'd decided losing weight was my resolution, it was because a friend of mine had. She was ready to make a change, but needed a little push in the right direction. She's a planner...in every sense of the word. To do lists, plans, resolutions.....those are the things that get her excited.

So why not push her in the right direction...and go along for the ride?

And now....25 or so pounds later...I'm glad I did.

I lost weight, week after week, merely by changing my food habits. Then in May, I started running. The weight kept coming off...but that was when I really noticed my body changing. Things started firming up....jiggly bits started disappearing.

Since October, my running and my food choices have taken a turn for the worse....and so has that d*mn scale.

I ran my half marathon....and then the spark died. I completed the goal....and was left in limbo. Since then, I've read that making a new plan BEFORE the old one is gone is highly recommended. Lesson learned there.

I got into my single digit size jeans....and then the spark died. I completed that goal as well.

I'd done two things I set out to do....but it still felt as though the end of this journey hadn't come. You see....I met my goals....but not my ultimate ones!

Ben, from Ben Does Life, explains what I mean perfectly....by using marathon time goals as an example.

A: The public goal – as the name implies, this is the goal the runner tells people when asked what his goal is. Barring a complete meltdown, this goal is easily attainable and would even be a slight disappointment to the runner.
B: The actual goal – Usually about 5-10 minutes faster than the public goal. The runner will tell close friends and family about this goal. It’s also the time that the runner feels comfortable striving for and thinks there is a reasonable chance of hitting.
C: The secret dream goal – The runner doesn’t tell anyone this goal, because he knows that the stars would have to align and everything would have to fall perfectly in place for the secret dream goal to happen, and if a runner knows nothing else, he knows that during 26.2 miles, nothing ever falls perfectly in place.

My goals for weight loss really aren't centered on the scale. Yes, I use it as a way to measure success week after week. But that's only because the true measure of success (clothes sizes) don't go down every week. I need something to keep me going...and that's where the scale comes in.

My public goal: "I don't care how much I weigh, or what size I am, I just want to be happy and healthy." and "I want to be a runner. I want to get up in the morning and run a couple of miles, daily. I read books where the main character gets up in the am and 'goes for a run'...I want to be that person." (goals achieved)

My actual goal: "Happiness and good health is great...but feeling good about the way I look would be sweet! I don't care what I weigh, but I'd like to be in single digit size jeans. " and "I want to run a half marathon. Marathons are great and all, but a half is nothing to be ashamed of. I want to get that finisher medal, and feel the emotion of accomplishing something I had to train for. " (goals achieved)

My secret dream goal: "8 is great...but bring on the 6!!! My body looked good as a 6, once upon a time. Heck, it looked great as a 4...but let's be realistic...I'm not 20 anymore. I want to wear a swimsuit again. I'd love to be able to run in only a sports bra in the summer when it's hotter than h*ll. Fitted tshirts....bring 'em on!!!" and "Half marathon? Pa-shaw! Yeah, yeah, yeah...I know what I said about half marathons being a great goal and all.....but since when have I done something without throwing myself into it fully? I can't stop half way there." (goals in progress)

I've accomplished so many things this year, things I never in a million years thought I'd ever do.

I run.
I enjoy running.
I get up really friggin' early to run.
I still enjoy running.
I've lost weight.
I've run a half marathon.
I want to run more of them.
I go to spin classes.
I enjoy spin classes.
I find myself looking forward to summer.
I don't mind the summer heat so much anymore.
I'm healthier than I've been in a long time.
I'm happy.

2010, you've been great! More than I ever expected.

2011, bring it on!!!!!!