The weather was perfect this morning...chilly, but not freezing. The skies were bright enough at 5 am that I didn't need a headlamp. The birds were chirping and the rabbits were out in full force!!!
I set out to run a short two miles today. Nothing fast, nothing furious...just two solid miles.
Good news, I made it the two miles.
Bad news, I was walking.
I tried running...but I don't think it can even be considered running as I doubt both of my feet were off the ground at the same time.
The fronts of my lower legs were screaming....the backs of my lower legs were screaming...the insides of my lower legs were screaming.
It was ScreamFest 2011. (I give it two thumbs down.)
I backed off and walked....then tried running about half a mile later.
When I hit the one mile mark, I turned around and came back home.
If anyone saw me, they'd have thought me completely nuts. I was talking to myself. I was arguing with myself. I was consoling myself.
I'm not sure what to do.
Yes, I was having pain when I started this second round of physical therapy in April...but it was nothing like what I'm experiencing now.
Is this a case of "you're going to hurt, get used to it.....but quit trying to fix it, you're only making it worse"?
Or is it a case of "sometimes it gets worse before it gets better...no pain, no gain?"
As of right now, I'm not running the half this weekend. I couldn't run two miles today....what am I doing thinking that I can do 13 this weekend?
My third half marathon is a DNR before I even begin.
During that mile walk back to my house this morning, the thought of a DNR was the most depressing thing ever.
But eventually my thought process turned to the future.
If I want to get things fixed and complete a full this fall, I might have to make some sacrifices along the way.
If 18 years of dance has made it impossible for me to develop any kind of solid running life style (like I've been told by many people along the way)....then I guess there's ultimately nothing I can do about it.
I'll admit...I'm a little down right now. I hate posting this on my blog....I hate not being happy happy joy joy for all of you. But I guess these down times make the up times seem all that much better, right?
I'll be up tomorrow before work again...out there trying to run. And, if I can't run, I'll walk. One foot in front of the other.
Truth be told, I have to say I'm a little excited to run the 5K this weekend instead of the half. It takes quite a bit of the pressure off my mind. I know quite a few people who will be there doing it along with me. I won't have another medal for the rack....but even though it's cool to get them, it's not what it's all about.