Cardinal

I recently read an online article about the physical health benefits we can enjoy by doing something as simple as opening a window.   

In the last few weeks, I’ve been opening windows in our house here and there.  Thursday night I came home, slid open the sliding glass door, and left it open until I went to bed.  While I can’t say there are actual physical benefits to doing so, I can definitely say I’ve been enjoying the refreshment it brings me mentally; especially in the morning.

There is nothing I love more this time of year than when the cardinals in our neighborhood start singing.  We have one Cardinal who sits in a small tree in our backyard every morning without fail: singing and singing.  He’s the brightest color of red and his volume amazes me.  How can a creature so small sing loud enough for me to hear from inside our closed up house?   I often find myself standing on the back deck to listen while drinking my morning cup of coffee.    

What a cliché thing to do, a true Folgers commercial.  

No matter how much I enjoy the winter season, there’s something about spring that acts as a natural anti-depressant, an instant motivator.  Getting up in the morning to run becomes easier, planning this years’ vegetable garden starts, I even found myself dragging a yoga mat onto our back deck (to the one spot without snow) for a short morning practice.  

The last few days I’ve heard some other birds starting to join in the chorus.  I’ll stand at the kitchen window looking into the backyard, watching them flying from tree to tree, stopping to rest on our old gazebo, sometimes hanging out on a section of dried trumpet vine from the previous year.  

I haven’t spotted my first Robin of the year, but I can hear them out there.  Technically, the beginning of the calendar year is January, but the beginning of my year is Spring.  There is no specific date.  I leave that up to the Cardinal in my backyard. 

11/01/12: Update

I know I haven't been around much (if any) lately.  It's funny how life just steamrolls along sometimes, isn't it? 


YOGA
I'm in the process of getting my yoga teacher certification. 

The training is every other weekend, all day, both days.....from Sept - May.  It seems like allot, but it's flying by!!!!  Besides the training itself, there are a required number of guided practices I need to attend each week.  In addition to that, I was awarded a partial work study scholarship for the training, which leads to yoga studio cleaning duty, and helping out at the front desk when needed.  The studio is like my third home right now.  (next to work, and my actual home)

We started anatomy last weekend, I was sooo excited!  It stuff fascinates me. Maybe because of all the injuries I've rec'd in my life?  I have an understandable interest. :-)

I found an awesome book recently, that combines anatomy with yoga.  Instead of just breaking down the muscles of the back....or the bones of the spine.....it incorporates yoga poses that work those specific areas.  Mot regularly hears me saying "oh - THAT explains it!"....or "no wonder I was so sore yesterday." 

RUNNING
Tragically, after the stress fracture in my knee healed, I wasn't able to get back into a consistent running schedule.  My mood dropped pretty low when I had to cancel multiple full and half marathon race entries.  Then, all of that weight I lost snuck back on.  Yoga is great in allot of way.....but it's not a cardio workout. 

But - have no fear - all is not lost.  I started my running schedule up again this morning, believe it or not.  All treadmill work for me, for now.  After I'm back to doing it consistently, I'll go back to running outside.  (the treadmill is a little nicer to my knees) 

I'm pretty sure yoga is going to help my running, and should make it more pleasant.  My strength and flexibility is leaps and bounds better than it's been in forever.

CYCLING
Sadly I haven't been on my bike, or to a spin class, in ages!  I'm sure I'll work it back into the rotation....but one thing at a time right now.  Yoga takes up quite a bit of my time, and now I'm reintroducing running.  The last thing I want to do, is burn myself out again. 



Well, that's all I have for now.  Catch ya on the flip side! 

Being Human

BEING HUMAN by Naima

I wonder if the sun debates dawn
some mornings
not wanting to rise
out of bed
from under the down-feather horizon

If the sky grows tired
of being everywhere at once
adapting to the mood swings of the weather

If the clouds drift off
trying to hold themselves together
make deals with gravity
to loiter a little longer

I wonder if rain is scared
of falling
if it has trouble letting go

If snow flakes get sick
of being perfect all the time
each one trying to be one-of-a-kind

I wonder if stars wish
upon themselves before they die
if they need to teach their young to shine

I wonder if shadows long
to once feel the sun
if they get lost in the shuffle
not knowing where they’re from

I wonder if sunrise and sunset
respect each other
even though they’ve never met

If volcanoes get stressed
If storms have regrets
If compost believes in life after death

I wonder if breath ever thinks
about suicide
I wonder if the wind just wants to sit
still sometimes
and watch the world pass by

If smoke was born knowing how to rise
If rainbows get shy back stage
not sure if their colors match right

I wonder if lightning sets an alarm clock
to know when to crack
If rivers ever stop
and think of turning back

If streams meet the wrong sea
and their whole lives run off-track
I wonder if the snow wants to be black

If the soil thinks she’s too dark
If butterflies want to cover up their marks
If rocks are self-conscious of their weight
If mountains are insecure of their strength

I wonder if waves get discouraged
crawling up the sand
only to be pulled back again
to where they began

I wonder if land feels stepped upon
If sand feels insignificant
If trees need to question their lovers
to know where they stand

If branches waver in the crossroads
unsure of which way to grow
If the leaves understand they’re replaceable
and still dance when the wind blows

I wonder where the moon goes
when she is hiding
I want to find her there
and watch the ocean
spin from a distance
Listen to her
stir in her sleep

effort gives way to existence

Eka Pada Rajakapotasana

Say that three times really fast.

Heck, just saying it once is a mouthful, if you ask me.

Some call it the One-Legged King Pigeon Pose, some call it cruel and unusual punishment.....after last nights class, I'm calling it fun!

03/21/2012

I couldn't drag myself out of bed in time yesterday morning to get my run in....so today was the day. My alarm went off....I hit snooze a couple of times...then finally rolled up and out of bed.

Sam was EXTREMELY excited when I came upstairs from the basement with her pack.


I have a plain orange reflective vest for her...so the pack isn't really necessary.....but 1) I want to get her used to it...she'll be carrying her own food, etc when we take her backpacking with us 2) I don't want to have to run for 4 miles with a plastic bag of dog poo in my hand.

:-)

I have a two foot leash that is always attached to her pack....but she does such a wonderful job of running just ahead that I usually just let the leash hang from her pack while she runs at her own pace. It's 5:00 in the am, there's no one around, and she's under voice control....so I let her go.

She constantly doubles back to have me pet her head, then goes ahead of me again for a while. If I slow down, she slows down. If I see her getting too far ahead, or I see her start for someone's lawn, I just have to say her name and she comes to me for a pet on the head...then she's off again.

There are more breaks during these runs with her, so my mileage isn't as high. I make sure she's beside me, and comes to a full sit when we get to a point where we have to cross a street. If a car is coming, I make her sit beside me until they have passed.

All in all, I'm really enjoying running with her....and I know that she's LOVING it just as much, if not more!

She's adding to my motivation for getting back into running a little. It's nice to have a fresh start with a new running partner! :-)

03/20/2012

Yoga was great last night, as always!

I bought a natural rubber mat some months back, because I slide around too much on the regular ones you can buy at Target, etc. But last night's class had me sweating so badly, even the rubber mat was slicker than snot. I think I'm going to have to end up getting a towel to go on top of it. I nearly face planted a couple of times because of it.

You know you're a heavy yoga sweater, when you can hear the sweat drip drip dripping on the mat below you.

Yuck!!!

I was asked, this week, if I was interested in getting my yoga teacher certification.

I'll be honest, I hadn't ever thought about it. Not that it's something I wouldn't want to do....but I hadn't given it a thought because I'm still so new to the practice.

But now that the seed is planted....it's taking root.

Taking root, growing leaves...and will be attracting butterflies in no time.

It's not free, by any means....so it's something I really need to give serious thought to before diving in head first (like I usually do). She is still working out the details, so I don't have any firm dollar amount...but she gave me a ballpark to plan for.

Tom's eyes may or may not have bugged out of his head when I told him (giggle).

After I graduated high school and a couple of years of college, I stopped taking the dance lessons that had filled 18 years of my life. I've missed it ever since. It was a great workout, there were goals, and I had so much fun!!! I wasn't a rockstar at it, but I could do everything that was asked of me and enjoyed it every step of the way.

Yoga reminds me of those dance lessons in so many ways. It's almost as though it's filling the hole dancing left. (as crazy as that sounds) The structured movements, the breathing and flowing, the strength and flexibility required, and the challenge of learning new things....

......including those that scare the crap out of me.

Like, for instance.....inversions of any kind. Headstands, handstands, etc. It appears I have a fear of being upside down. I got on "doctor Google" to see what I could find about it. There doesn't seem to be a scientific name for the fear, that I can find.....but there are entire message boards devoted to the topic.

Who knew????

Anyone who knows me knows I love to kayak.....yet I'm terrified of water. So practicing yoga even though I have a fear of being upside down...well, it's not really a stretch.

I know I enjoy what I'm doing because I WANT to do headstands and handstands. I want to work on it at home, when no one is looking, and I can pad the crash zone. I know I'm hooked when I sit at work trying to figure out where there is open wall space in my house for inversion practice. (there really aren't any)

:-)

One of these days, there will be a picture of me on this blog, doing a rockin' awesome inversion. I promise you that!!!!!!

03/18/2012

So, I've been a little off of my running game the last month or so.

I've actually been off of any game lately, it seems. The winter darkness, the running injuries, the work stress......it all took it's toll on me this year.

I've sat back the last few weeks and let myself heal from the inside out, so to speak. My energy is coming back and my motivation has migrated back around.

The housework that was being ignored is now getting the attention it needs. The outside of the house is getting it's fair share of loving as well.

I've also become a yoga addict. 4-5 classes a week lately. My strength (full body) is increasing every day and my flexibility is improving like wildfire. I can see a huge difference, and I'm loving every sweat dripping moment of it!

If you live in or around Omaha, you REALLY need to check out Sound Method Yoga. Mandy is fantastic and she's been adding on other amazing instructors now that she has her own studio space.

Plus (fanfare) I started running again. I downgraded from the full marathon in May to the half.....and am training just to complete it and enjoy it. No PR's, no time goals, no brutal training schedules. Two weekday runs of 30 minutes. If I make it 4 miles, sweet. If I make it 3 miles, awesome. 30 minutes, twice a week.

Then my long run on the weekend. Gradually increasing those miles until the half in May. If my longest run before the event is 10 miles, sweet. If it's only 8, awesome. I can't wait to run it with family. Talk, laugh, people watch.....just enjoying the moment.

Will I eventually run a full marathon? Yes. Without a doubt.
Will I do one that I have to train for over the winter. Absolutely not! :-)

This weekend I finally did it. I took Sam with me on my run.

I've been debating whether to take her or not since last April, when she was old enough to start going. Sam is a lab. Labs have seriously addictive personalities. Every day, when I get home from work, I have to throw the ball. I don't have a choice in the matter. If Mot throws it for her just before I get home, it doesn't matter. She wants ME to do it because that's just WHAT WE DO when I get home.

I could take her for a walk, I could take her for a car ride....but it doesn't matter. Until that ball throwing session is complete, she won't leave me alone. She'll bring her stuffed toys to me, in bed that night, if we miss our game of fetch. She'll throw her stuffed toys at me when I get ready for work the next morning. It doesn't end until I do it........so now she has ME trained. I get home, I throw the ball.

(sigh)

Knowing that, I had to decide if I really wanted to get her addicted to running with me? Do I really want to risk her wet nose in my face every morning?

I only did 3 miles with her this weekend, just to see how she'd do....and she did great!!!! I ran her with a short leash on the first half. She did really well, but she's not keen on staying beside me when we run.

She's a hunting dog, and has been trained to work a field slightly ahead of us....so I thought, why fight it? I dropped the leash and let her run. It was early in the am, there was no one around.

She ran 2-3 feet ahead of me the entire time. If I took a walk break, or slowed down on a hill....she slowed her pace to stay right there with me. Another lab (a yellow) went running across our path. He'd obviously escaped his yard and was out exploring the neighborhood. Sam kept an eagle eye on him, but never left her spot in front of me.

Because of her color and because I don't want to risk injuring her....she'll only, from now on, be going on my 30 minute weekday morning runs. I'm not sure how she's going to react when I go out for my long runs alone. She watches us like a hawk. When those running shoes come out, when the GPS watch goes on my wrist...she knows what it means. And now that I've included her on the activity, what will she do when I leave without her on Sunday mornings?

Guess we're going to find out. Wish me luck! :-)

I can sooo relate to this dog.....

A Girl Who Runs

"Love a girl who runs and she will love you back the same way she loves running. You will ask her why she loves running and she’ll answer: Because I can. You will ask her why she loves you and she’ll reply: Because I do."
Jaymie a.k.a The Bull Runner


Hello?

(tapping computer screen)

Is anyone still out there?

I'm back. Well, actually I never really left. I just haven't had time to check in and say hi.

Work has been crazy.

CA-RAY-ZEE

One minute, you're bored at work. You're in a rhythm. You get everything done on time, early in fact. You're happy and polite when people come over for work questions, or when they merely need a break and want to chat.

You get to work at 8:00, take an hour lunch, and leave at 5:00. There's no guilt that you couldn't get it all done. There's no taking it home with you. You've got it all under control.

Then you go and mess it all up. You have extra time, you see others stressed out, you want to help. You want to get rid of having to spend some time each day looking busy or finding something to do. You know that you shouldn't fill every second, because your job means having projects handed to you. Time consuming, time sensitive projects. Things go from famine to feast in the blink of an eye. People warn you. But you can't help it. You can do more. You don't feel like you're doing enough.

You volunteer.

Life as you know it ends.

You're skipping all of your lunches. You're working until 7:00 or 7:30 each night. You'd be there early as well, if it wasn't for trying to keep your non-work life somewhat under control.

Somewhat.

The laundry piles up. The dog hair is actually taking over. And your running......ha!

Running.

The one thing that keeps you steady. The activity that wears you out, yet pumps you up at the same time. It just so happens that you end up with a stress fracture in your knee right when things at work go completely off the charts nuts.

Your motivation to get out of bed each morning is squashed....thus, the morning runs (once you can finally run again) become fewer and further between. You want to get up and run. You lay all of your clothes out the night before. Water bottle and Garmin waiting on the kitchen counter.

4:30 comes, and you hit the snooze. Again and again and again. It's not bad enough that the runs you DO get in take time away from your spouse. You know, the guy you never get to see because you're at work until 7:00 or 7:30 each night. But now you don't want to get up to run, because it means eventually going to work.

It's not that you hate your job.....or the people there......it's knowing you pushed yourself over the edge. You know you can recover...but it's going to take some time before you get it all juggled. Before you get it all "handled" again. You know you can do it. But it's like training for a marathon. The goal is possible....but there's allot of work and long hours ahead. You know that once it's all under control, the end product is going to feel great.

But, December was rough. I actually found myself hiding under the blankets in bed.

"Nej, are you OK?"

(muffled, from under the covers)
"Yep"

"What are you doing?"

(peaking out at Mot)
"I'm hiding."

"Hiding from what?"

"8:00"

And no matter how long or how hard I hide.....8:00 comes, like clockwork.

I've missed yet another run....and by the time I get home, a run or even a computer are the last things on my mind....let alone have time for.

And the whole things starts again the next morning.

I don't have kids (if you don't count hubby and the two dogs, that is). I'm married, have a job, a mortgage, friends, family, and my health. There are people out there who would shake their heads if they read this post. "How can she complain?"

But I figure, if the women who find it impossible to gain a pound can complain......if the people who need to give money away because their tax lawyers insist can complain.....then I can too.

:-)

I have a full marathon coming up in May. It's my second attempt at full marathon training (the stress fracture in my knee killed the St. Louis marathon). I signed up for this next one (Fargo) when things were calm. Now....things are crazy, and I'm trying to get my training schedule under control.

I can't keep work, the laundry, or the dog hair under control......so adding one more thing to the list seems a little crazy. But I can't help it, I'm a Capricorn. Stubborn, bull headed, and not easily intimidated.

But pessimistic? Yeah, sometimes. Lacking a little self confidence? Yeah, most of the time.

I've been squeaking out 3-4 runs a week. I've been squeezing in a spin class here and there. And, I've been doing my darnedest to make it to 2 yoga classes a week.

But January 21st is kinda like January 1st for quite a few people. Today is the day I get myself under control, put my life back together a little bit, and pull myself out of this depression I've been wallowing in.

Yep, the D word. I said it. I might not be climbing out onto a ledge, but when you find yourself hiding under the covers.....you've got to admit something needs to change.

The guilt is going away. I'm working longer hours, and that's just the way it has to be for a while. I'm going to have to spend non work time running, spinning and yoga-ing (?). I'm going to lose the 10 pounds I worked so hard to get rid of, then put back on in the last couple of months. I'm going to make myself lunches each day instead of giving local sandwich shops all of my money.....or skipping lunch altogether.

(microwave popcorn does not = lunch)

:-)

I'm going to actually DO the strength exercises that have been recommended to me, week after week, for 5 weeks now.

I ran outside all last winter......negative wind chills, North winds, and icy roads were no match to wool socks, multiple layers and some sheet metal screws in my shoes. But this year I've been using it as an excuse. (I think we've had snow for maybe 3 days so far this year...and it's Jan 21st. Cold weather can NOT be an excuse. We've been spoiled.)

So anyway, enough of the crappy excuses. Time to woman up and get with the program. Life is busy, and that's just the way it is. I'm young, there's still plenty of time to be lazy and inactive.

Just not right now.

:-)

12/16/11

I had a 35 minute run on the schedule.....and did some drills while running.

2 sets of skipping for height
2 sets of skipping for distance
4 sets of butt kickers
2 sets of high knees

The route, because it was near home, was much less flat than my other two runs this week.

My left arch didn't hurt...but about half way through I could "fee"l it adjusting to running again. It wasn't uncomfortable, or painful, but I could definitely tell it was working.

The insides of my legs felt the same....not painful, but adjusting to running again.

Adding the drills (and hills) into my run affected my pace....but it still felt like a good run.

I was chilly by the time I got home. I checked the weather and found out why. I dressed for low 30's....but it was actually low 20's. Big difference. :-)

_____________________________________________________
1:1 intervals with mixed drills, 36:05, 2.73 miles, 13:12 overall average pace, 168 average HR, 191 max HR, 295 calories, 21 degrees F

12/14/11

Met up with a local running group for my Wednesday run. There were two other people coming off of injuries, so a group of about 6 or 7 of us ran intervals.

I usually do 2:1, or 1:1...but the group was doing 3:3, so I changed it up and went with them.

Running with a group is so much different than running alone. And, for some reason, when running....my shyness level goes down a notch or two. Not only will I participate in conversations with complete strangers......but I was actually asking the questions, and initiating. Go figure!

Legs and knee felt great.

________________________________________________
30 minute run (made it 2.47 miles), 12:33 overall overage pace doing 3 min run/3 min walk intervals, Avg HR 174, Max HR 194, 276 calories, 45 degrees

12/13/11: Who's Your Runner

Well.....I ran today. (woohoo!)

I ran outside today (snoopy dance).

It was only three miles, and it was at a 12:25 min/mile average. But it was running and outside, none the less!

Did it hurt? Yes. And no. :-)

My knee felt fine. (woohoo!)

My lower legs felt fine. (another happy dance)

My lungs, on the other hand, were wondering what the heck I was doing to them.

Two days in a row I've made them work. An hour spin class yesterday (yep, I'm back at 'em), and a 38 minute run today.

Ever since I was benched for stress fractures in my knee, my hunger levels have been off the chart. I'm constantly chowing on a little of this, and a little of that. Sometimes more than a little.

The worst time to eat more (and unhealthier) is when you can't be active....yet it's the time when I crave it the most. Yesterday I could see the dispenser of peanut M&M's in the kitchenette at work without needing to help myself. They didn't even look good. (OK, that's a lie, they looked good....but I didn't really want any) I actually smiled at them and walked by.

(I'm smiling at snack food. The men in white coats are knocking on my door. Can you hear them?)

As I was making my post-run glass of chocolate milk, I was saying over and over again (in my head)..."I ran outside today, do dah, do dah....I ran outside today, oh do dah day."

(OK, OK....I was more singing it in my head, then saying it. I admit.)

Most of the time I've extremely happy people can't hear what's going on in my head. Now you know why. :-)

(third happy dance, just for the hell of it)
_____________________________________________________________

3.09 miles, 38:21 elapsed time, 12:25 overall average pace, 33 degrees

Check out my new wheels....

....two of them to be exact. :-)





The weather in St. Louis this weekend was amazing. 60 degrees, sunny.....perfect!!!!

I was super excited to get home and take it out for it's first official ride.

This is what was waiting for us when we got home.


(the view from my office window today at work)

6+ inches of snow in our driveway.

Murphy.....you're such an @&%!!!

:-)

12/05/11: Saddle Sore

I got up at 4:30 this morning to get to the 5:15 spin class. I haven't been to a spin class since sometime in September, if not before.

It's soooooo easy to get out of the habit of getting up early. But it's sooooooo hard to get back into it.

Actually, it didn't feel as bad as I expected, but I'm sure that has something to do with sleeping in the past 4 days while in St. Louis. What a difference many extra hours of much needed sleep will make.

Today, though, it was back to reality.

I tried to get hubby to come along. He wants to start riding with me, and he says he wants to start going to spin classes as well......."but not at 5 in the morning."

(insert sarcastic tone here) I just don't understand how someone who works 24 hour shifts, and is then home for 24 hours, doesn't want to get up at 5 in the morning to work out.

(giggle)

The class today was torture. My poor body hasn't done any cardio work since September, and it shows. My legs were tired, but I could work through it. The problem was my lungs. Holy crap am I out of shape again. :-(

At one point the instructor got off of her bike and walked around the room. She doesn't normally do this, so it caught my attention. At first I thought it was just because it was Monday am, and she thought we all needed some added motivation. The kind of motivation that an instructor walking around the room usually creates.

But then she stopped at the empty bike in front of me, and just kinda hung out.

I'm guessing I looked like I was going to either stroke or drop of a heart attack, and she wanted to be closer to respond when the need arose.

arose?

Anyway....

My new goal - make it through a class without causing concern within the gym staff.

:-)

Home Sweet Home

Well....maybe not sweet. I mean, I love running, but I hate treadmills.

In light of the stress fractures in my left knee this September, I've come to grips with needing to use this torture device more than I normally would for my May full marathon training.

As you come down the stairs from our kitchen to the basement... you can either go straight into the "gym" area.....or through a doorway to the right into the laundry/walk in closets area.

If you go straight, this is what you see.


Pretty typical. Weight bench, bowflex, treadmill, bike trainer, yoga mats, the fan (that we lovingly call the "prop plane") and other misc fitness flotsam and jetsam.


Don't mind the dust on the mill. She's been out of commission for quite some time. The internal fuse kept blowing....but we've since gotten a replacement. The poor thing is well over 10 years old, so if replacing a fuse here and there is all I need to do, I'll take it without complaining.

(Although, the fuse would blow almost exactly 21 minutes into my run....when I'd find myself hurling into the control panel at full speed. So yeah, I might have complained a little when it started happening.)

:-)


Here's my view while running. Ancient upright freezer (with misc poem magnets permanently stuck to it.....collapsible golf cart....bookshelves with hand weights, disc golf equipment, workout videos.....a case of wine......an old TV (with stereo, vcr, dvd player, etc hooked up to it), and on the bottom right side of the picture, a large stack of wainscot (for an upcoming dining room remodeling project) and on top of that are floor tiles (that we didn't end up using on the last kitchen remodel).

Pretty typical basement fodder.

I reinstated our netflix account and I'm going to see about having our cable service run to the basement. I'll be needing all of the entertainment help I can get.

And Mot is going to need to start sleeping with earplugs. Between the "prop plane" fan, the 10 year old treadmill, and the stereo I have to turn up loud enough to hear OVER the prop plane fan and the 10 year old treadmill....it might get a little crazy.

My first run, since the end of September was last night. My legs felt great....and my lungs were joyous!!! I was dripping sweat, and smiling like a fool. I took it really easy, right around a 12 min/mile pace, to see how the legs would feel.

The nagging lower leg pain I'd been dealing with all year wasn't there at all.....but I did end up calling it quits after a couple of miles. My knee didn't hurt.....but it felt strange. I don't want to push it. Slow and steady as I ramp my mileage back up.
______________________________________
5 min walk warm-up, 5 min walk cool-down......5 minute running intervals with 2 min walk breaks in between

Felt marvelous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

11/22/11: Fear

It's amazing how distracting and intimidating fear can be. My husband seems to be afraid of nothing.....and I seem to be afraid of everything.

Most of what I'm afraid of doesn't affect me, I won't let it. Don't get me wrong, the butterflies and racing heart are still there...but I push them off, ignore them as best I can.

Allot of them are normal fears. Spiders, snakes, eels, seagulls (don't laugh, they're mean), looking into the bathroom mirror without turning the light on. Stupid stuff like that.

Then there are those that are a little bigger in scale.

Roller coasters. I watched someone get their foot cut off at the arch. Right in front of me. Granted, it was someone working at the park, and they were standing on the track when the cars came by...but still. (the ride was delayed until the workers could climb under the coaster to find the missing half of her foot)

I'm terrified of water, yet we own a pair of kayaks and spend quite a bit of time in them. (As long as I'm wearing a PFD, and remain acutely aware of my surroundings, I'm OK.)

I went white water rafting through the Royal Gorge with a smile on my face. (although I was holding onto the boat with my legs so hard, walking at the end of the day long trip was nearly impossible.)

I'm horribly claustrophobic, but had a BLAST going spelunking when in South Dakota. (We went on a wild cave tour and I made sure I'd positioned myself behind the largest guy in the group anytime a "squeeze" was coming up.)

I'm horribly shy.....it's ridiculous actually. But I've held many jobs that all my FORCE me to overcome it. I've gone on weekend and week long trips with people I don't know. Sure, there are parts of each of those trips that are miserable. I want so badly to walk up to a group of interesting people and strike up a conversation......but I never do.

And then there are the fears that I still have yet to overcome.

1) Being upside down.

Sounds strange doesn't it?

You know, now that I think about it, this is probably why roller coasters bother me. :-)

The yoga classes I take will sometimes involve inversions. Head stands, etc. I'm paralyzed with fear the second I get close to going upside down. My form is great, I'm right there....then I freak out.

But I'm going to keep trying. I'm going to work on it at home, and have hubby help. He's pretty good at the tough love stuff. The "for crying out loud Nej, just do it and quit being a baby about it" stuff. It usually does the trick - but don't tell him that.

2) Marathons

Yep, you heard me right. It's a silly fear, isn't it? I mean, I run halves now.....and I really don't think much about them any more. I ran the last one with my sister (it was her first)....just so that I would have something to think about and do while running. They kick my butt, don't get me wrong....but they are also boring when by myself.

I've been told that if you can run a half, you can run a full. Sure, it's much more training, more endurance, and the chances of needing a port-a-potty along the way are higher (giggle).....but it can be done. Keep hydrated, pace yourself, pay much more attention to how your fuel before and during the event......

I think, at this point in my running life, the fear is actually a fear of injury. Of not being able to participate, or getting hurt along the way.

The Omaha half marathon was in September.....and last night I ran for the FIRST TIME since the event.

THE. FIRST.TIME.

Nearly two full months later.

I have a full marathon coming up in May. Can I start running after not running for two friggin' months, and be ready in time? Can I do it safely?

I guess last night I decided that fear was my problem. I'm going to start training...and if I get hurt, I get hurt. I'm not going to live being afraid of it.

Now....if I could just do a headstand........

Permission to be lazy isn't all it's cracked up to be......

I realized today that I haven't posted an update for quite some time.

I've been down in the dumps, to say the least.

09/26
The sports doc thought I'd torn my meniscus and they scheduled an MRI.

09/27
The knee specialist looked at the results and said my meniscus looks just fine.

I do, however, have a bone contusion on the end of my femur....and what could possibly be the beginning of a stress fracture "situation."

2-3 weeks of nothing....no running, walking, cycling, swimming, yoga......

There was a time in my life where I could have taken the doctor's advice and had a field day. My couch, days on end, no activity - bring it on!!!

But now, I find myself almost angry when I see someone out running. I get up in the morning, and stand on the back deck. It's dark out, the sky is clear, very little breeze....PERFECT running weather!

I've talked to family members who cycle and I've talked to the people at our favorite bike shop about getting my current bike ready for commuting to work. I've done the homework before....but never with the enthusiasm I seem to have now.

It's between 15-16 miles one way to work. Not a short distance, but nothing that's impossible by any means. Most of the route is on city multi-use trails, and the remainder is mostly neighborhood streets. I've also thought about the downside of having to show up to work a hot and sweaty mess in the summer...so took some time to check out the city bus schedules.

All city buses are equipped with bike racks, and the cost to ride isn't much at all. The bus would pick me up within 1/4 mile of my house...and drop me off about about as close to work. Same bus line, no transfers. The journey would take about an hour....but that's a great time to read, people watch, nap, etc.

Then, I could cycle home. Getting my daily exercise in....saving money....and doing a little to save the earth from a few auto exhaust fumes.

The bike I have already will work great...I just need to be able to use my darn knee.!!!! :-)

The doc said I needed to stay on crutches for 2-3 weeks, but I could start walking (only walking) again once I could do it pain free.

10/09
On Sunday night I gave it a shot, and there wasn't any pain. None! I walked normally (yet very very slowly and carefully) Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Then, out of the blue on Wednesday night, the pain was back.

Not like it was in the beginning, but there none the less. I'm back to limping around and using crutches.

The light at the end of the tunnel had begun to appear. It was quite a ways away, and still dim, but it was there. Now I'm back to stumbling around in the dark unlit tunnel, on crutches.

Which, by the way, brings up an interesting topic.

Crutches + dark house at midnight = recipe for disaster....or a good scene for a primetime sitcom.


Some joker at work left this tiny little crutch in my area one afternoon. :-)

I'm trying to keep my spirits up. I can't run right now, but so what? It's not the end of the world.

Mot has already said he'd start cycling with me if that's what I have to do. He's been told that running anything more than a 5 or 10K is just plain silly due to the condition of his back.

So maybe we just run short runs, bike long rides, and smile the whole time knowing that we are ABLE to run short distance and bike long rides. There are those out there who can't do that much...and really want to.

Whining about it, fretting and worrying about it, getting mad and depressed about it.....none of that is going to do anyone any good.

I just plain don't like being told I can't do something.

10/18
Knee specialist follow up appt. The nurse led me back to the examination room.....and I sat there in my paper shorts for 53 minutes before the doc came in to talk to me.

53 minutes!!!!!


In paper shorts! Size S/M. They were huge, I'd hate to see what size L/XL looked like.

Anyway, he finally comes in. And do you know what answer I get to my "what activities can I start doing" question??

"If it hurts, don't do it."

Really? That's his med school education answer?

Genius!!!!
"I've got a wonderful doctor. I says 'Doctor, it hurts when I do this. He says 'Don't do that.' "
Henry Youngman

So, the plan is to start doing yoga next week (as long as it doesn't hurt).
Maybe even some spin classes (as long as they don't hurt).
He also said I could try some cardio machines at the gym (as long as they don't hurt).

He did say I'm 100% not supposed to do laundry, dishes, sweeping, dusting, or scrubbing. Those activities will most definitely hurt.

OK...so maybe he didn't say that.

09/25/11: 36th Annual Omaha Half Marathon (race report)

More than 4200 runners turned up for this years event....and the weather couldn't have been more perfect. The temps hovered in the mid to lower 40's and there wasn't a cloud in the sky.


Although, while preparing for the 7:00 am race start, you couldn't see anything in the sky except stars and the slightest fingernail moon.


Doug signed up to run the 10K and Inny and I were running the half together. It was her first, and she was pretty excited!


I'm not sure how long it took this guy to get out of the race staging area. But there were nothing but people shoulder to shoulder blocking his way.


Because of the severe flooding the region has experienced this year, the start was moved to the new TD Ameritrade ballpark (only a few blocks away from the original start).


As the sun came up, shivering runners waited for the starting gun.


Let's get this party started!!!






This woman ran with the garbage bag around her waste for AT LEAST the first 5-6 miles. Neither Inny or I could take the "swish swish swish" any longer and passed her by.






The support from cheering residents along the way was fun!


At around mile 8 there's a hill. A big hill. And it lasted for well over a mile. Inny was cheering because we'd hit the top.

We hadn't yet, as we would soon find out. :-)


Our time was pretty good considering it was her first (yeah!!!) and I wasn't wanting to push myself hard. The pain in my lower legs is finally 99% gone, and I didn't want it to come back.

Maybe I should have? My knee (of all things) ended up sending me to the doc and an MRI appointment the next day anyway. :-(


After I was done running, I jumped in my car and drove to mile 22 of the full marathon route? Why 22? That's where Mot was volunteering for the day as a human cone. (that's literally what his shirt says!!)

The put the "human cones" along the route to direct running (and non running) traffic. He was having a pretty good time. I stayed over there with him for an hour or two, then headed home for a shower.


The medals, for the second year in a row, are made from recycled glass. There is a glass studio in Downtown Omaha that does them for the event. At the end of the race, there was a line of Marines in full dress putting them around the necks of the runners.
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13.1 miles, just over 2 hours 39 minutes, overall avg pace 11:58, 455 ft elevation gain, 1487 calories, 185 Max HR, 172 Avg HR

09/26/11: Do these crutches make my a** look fat?

I ran with my sister in her first ever half marathon this weekend (race report to come soon). She rocked it, and we both had a blast!

About 8-9 miles into the run, my knee started to catch. With each step, I could feel it pop. Nothing huge, nothing audible....but just a catching feeling on each step. It didn't hurt, but it was annoying.

Mainly it hurt because I knew that chances were it was GOING to start hurting.

It DID start hurting at about mile 11. We were running our 1:1 intervals, and the first 5 to 10 steps of each running interval hurt...then the pain would go away and I'd finish the minute without another thought about it. I babied it on for the last couple of miles, and by the time we hit the finish line, I'd stopped noticing it at all.

As we were standing around after the finish, I could feel my knee getting tight. Again, I really didn't think too much about it. I run put it through 13.1 miles....and, sure, there was a slight "hitch in my giddy-up" ***** for the last 4 or so of them, but it wasn't bad enough to make me think I should stop.

My tune changed later that evening. Being able to bend it at all was a thing of the past.

There was one point in the evening where Mot was grabbing his keys and wallet for a trip to the ER.

I decided against it....took some pain meds from from the medicine cabinet....and tried to go to bed.

Tried being the key word. Every little move hurt my knee. Pulled on my knee. Pushed on my knee.

And I want you all to take a second out of your day today, and try to sit on a toilet, then stand back up...while not bending your left knee at all.

At all!!!!

Thank goodness I've been taking quite a few yoga classes lately.....

Mot called the doctor first thing this morning. Doc had me lay down on the table and started manipulating my leg and knee a little....when "POP"!

I could hear it, I could feel like, the doc knew it immediately. He put my leg down and said "it's time for an MRI....you might have a torn meniscus".

Well hell.

I bit the inside of my cheek and tried to not cry. My silence must have spoke volumes. Mot asked if I was OK. I said "yes, but St Louis is in 4 weeks."

"Oh" says doc "you won't be running."

Double hell.

They scheduled an MRI appointment for me later that afternoon, recommended crutches and we went home.

The MRI appointment was intense. Not only was it loud (louder than any other MRI I've ever had)....but about half way through, I had a total anxiety/vertigo attack. I actually had my thumb ON the call button at one time....but then my absolute stubbornness kicked in.

My nerves were frazzled. I've been dealing with this mysterious pain in both of my legs for months. I finally get rid of it...and BAM! I'm confident enough that I sign up for my first full marathon (for the second time)...and WHAM!

I took many deep breaths. I opened my eyes and looked around the room as much as I could without moving my body.

I was NOT going to puke, I was NOT going to pass out, I was NOT going to call someone in for help. I toughed the rest of it out....and then we went home again.

The doctor office called home a few hours later.

No rips, no tears (no surgery!!!)....but a definite bone contusion.

I didn't fall, I didn't hit it, and I didn't get hit.....but I have a mega bad deep knee contusion (bruise).

I have an appointment with the knee specialist tomorrow, and we'll see what happens next.

But I'm going to go everything I can to show my "you won't be running" doc that it's not that easy to keep me down! :-)


***** That reference was for you Liz!!! :-)

09/22/11: What goes up, must come down....(and a request for advice)

I'm nearly done writing about my injured legs. I know reading about them probably gets old for all of you....but this blog is a way for me to talk about what I'm going through and experiencing. It's the way I can put what I'm thinking out there, without driving my hubby or friends nuts from hearing about it constantly. It's a way for me to track my progress, a place for me to go when I need a little mental boost. I can read about all the things I'm doing now, that I never thought I'd do. Ever!

I'm a runner. I'm not going to break any land speed records....I'm not going to win any awards (unless "sticking with it no matter what" is an competition). I'm much slower now than I was a year ago. Hills used to be my friend...and now they are a foe. Getting up early in the morning used to be easy, but now I struggle. I hope that as my confidence comes back, and the pain keeps going away, I'll find some of these things coming back to me.

But until then, I'm still a runner....just a much slower one. And, compared to what I've been going through this past year, I can deal with slow. Slow will work just fine for me.

I ran near my house this morning. There was no getting in my car and driving 15 minutes to a flat trail. Nope. I just threw my gear on, and walked out my front door.

Bliss!!

And, even though my time wasn't anything to cheer about, the fact I was running up and down hills without excruciating pain was!!

Were my calves burning? Were my lungs screaming? Hell yeah! But they're supposed to do that...and I welcomed it with open arms.

Hmmm...OK, maybe not open arms. I mean, burning calves and screaming lungs aren't the same as staying in my comfy bed and getting an extra hour of sleep. Let's be honest. :-)

I was also reminded of how many streetlights the neighborhoods around my house DON'T have. I was running with my super dooper awesome headlamp.....but I was still finding myself not fully striding out. Potholes are like ninjas. They hide in the shadows and take you without notice. :-)

I've done 10K's, I've run hills, and I've done long runs over 8 miles....all without the pain of my injury in my legs. I'm not going to jinx anything by saying you wont' hear me mention it again.....but I will say that I feel I'm nearly to the end of this journey.

Thank goodness!!!!

So now, to finish up this post, I want to ask all of you a question.

I'm going to start training for my first full marathon once the half this weekend and the one in October are finished. The marathon is 30 weeks from my half in October....and the training plan I'd found to use was.....get this...exactly 30 weeks. Kizmet??

But, on to the question.....what are everyone's thoughts on the run less, run faster theory? My doc and PT's have me running, right now, three days a week. Two shorter runs during the week, and one long run on the weekend. No running two days in a row.....period.

The training plan I'd found says the exact same thing....but somehow the idea of training for a full marathon on only 3 days a week seems.....lacking? Don't get me wrong, only three days a week of pounding on my body sounds great. I'll fill in the other days with cross training and rest.

But can I actually complete a full marathon on only three days a week of training? Hal Higdon wants me to run at least 4....the leader of the running group I belong to wants me to do 5.......

Am I just asking for injury the more I run. Will using the shorter runs for "speed" and hills and long runs for stamina do what I need them to do?

I'm going into the full marathon with the same thoughts as my first half. No time limit. I'm doing it to finish....period. Normally, I'd say I'd be happy with a full finish in under 5 1/2 hours....but now I'm not sure what to expect. I guess I'll find out. :-)
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3.01 "hilly-ish" miles, 37:33, 12:29 overall snail speed pace, 343 calories, 182 Max HR, 162 Avg HR